Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Top 10 Evils and Why they Suck

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Sunday, March 20, 2005

A Hungry Man is an Angry Man

As always, it is advisable to start off any controversial topic with a clear-cut point of attack so that I, the author, am on the safer side as compared to the attacker, who is willing to do almost anything to pull me and my arguments down.


Let's Define Anger @#!$%^&

Anger can be defined as a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility. But this definition leaves a lot of loopholes for the unknown attacker. So I'd like to define it in some other format.
ANGER = 01000001 01001110 01000111 01000101 01010010. This is the most foolproof way of defining a word and even the electronic gadgets will be able to tell that what I said was ANGER. For the lesser informed Homo sapiens, the above representation is the binary 8-bit representation of the word ANGER approved by American Standard Code for Information Interchange ( I am quiet sure that even certain Computer geeks won't find it familiar, It's ASCII, you fools !!!!)


"It's my Anger, So What the F$%K"

You've got a big point my friend. But what you need to realize is that it's your anger that has driven me to replace some of the letters with symbols no one cares to read through because of their very inability to pronounce them. I can assure you my friend that 87 out of 100 men(or women) will be willing to mute and replace your valuable English alphabets with a sybol of their choice. If you are so thick-headed to understand, I'll explain. Imagine you say a word "asshole". Now I, as a writer have got only the following signs to use !,@,#,$,%,^,&,*,~ as a replacement of the letters. 9 signs used as a replacement of 7 lettered word can be at max 97. So I have actually 4782969 choices... 4782969 F@#King choices. Why the hell do you want to give so much trouble to a writer.


I am Hungry (in Chinese)


Hunger is the √(Almost all Evil)

If you are a dumbass then the above line says "Hunger is the root of almost all Evil". Why would I go forward to make such a bold statement after all? Am I incredibly stupid? (I'm quiet sure the reader thinks I am) or am I just being Sauvik?
  • Hunger is a primarily a strong desire or need for food. The desire triggers certain chemicals in your body which gives your pre-programmed brain a sensation which by experience you have known that can be only be curbed down by consumption of food. This method of learning is known a adaptive learning. Your adaptive learning also taught you that you parents will supply food if you show some anger. (Research has shown that anger shown need not be of the true nature, an artificial/prototype anger does the work pretty well).
  • Anger is a quantity which gets accumulated in the neurons and often add up to certain outbursts which brings back the anger-o-meter to normal level. But this phenomenon only holds for active angers. As you grow old, if you are ever deprived of food, the anger you build up often gets stored in the passive section and outbursts are renderd as useless devices under that condition.
  • Relentless build-up of passive anger often leads to clumsy situations which debarrs a man from proper usage of logic and reason and often leads to ill-wishing the person responsible for the current built-up of anger. This actually sets the mindset of the person in anger to harm himself as well as the person in question.
  • The evils that are sown as a result of the seeds of anger are countless and I would not be mad enough to fill my pages with no souls of sanctity.
  • Give the evil doer some food. In most cases you'lll find that the food is able to distract him from doing his evil job at that time. The quality of food you might have to offer to stop the person from doing evil differs and is a function of the status of living of the person, the time elapsed since the person had his last meal, and the degree of evil which he intends to do.
I am quiet aware of the fact that Greed is an evil but who the hell cares. I don't give a damn. My theory works.. I say it bloody works and you should not question my authorataaa!!!

I am hungry right now and I want to eat something and if you try to stop me from ingesting food, I'll make sure that you p@%s on your a^@%%$ and se#&^%#!^e the f$%k out of !^%$@@&& !!!

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Frustrated Troubles and Troubled Frustrations

Today I am frustrated, I don't know why. So, I'm going to trouble you. Oh, yes I'm talking to you. Here's a "short" write-up about the deep rooted relationships that exist between "frustration" and "trouble".

a) The Viscious Cycle :
Trouble when recieved as a gift can be deadly. They do not come with any statutory warning - "Trouble is injurious to health". As the burden of trouble actually increases, the frustration increases in a proportionate manner. However the curve followed is generally analogous to the stress-strain curve and there exists a finite point at which a person experiences structural failure. This phenomenon can be clearly identified as it encompanies dizziness, reduction of hunger, mild to severe headache, escapism, etc. All of these lead to more trouble and finally causes an incremental feedback loop thus propelling further frustration.

b) The Vanquishment Cycle :
Defeat does not come for free. It accompanies frustration. And frustration, again like trouble, never comes with any statutory warning. Frustration often leads to inhibition of thought, the diminution of clarity, increase in fatigue, etc. All of these symptoms and syndromes lead to sserious mental and physical problems which in other words mean trouble. And by the virtue of the Theory of Viscious Cycle, the proposition that trouble will lead to frustration, stands true, which in turn ascertains the truth of the Vanquishment Cycle.

c) The Volatility Cycle :
Volatility stands for the vapourization of agility of the mankind. Frustration leads to decrease in agility, which in turn spells trouble and finally we obtain frustration again. It must be noted that Volatility Cycle is different from Viscious Cycle in many ways and should not be confused for each other at any cost.

d) The Venomous Cycle :
This Cycle is one of the famous discoveries of the early 60s. The female of this species started to grow a consciousness of their own and called upon trouble on the male of this species. (N.B. : This is just a research work and doesn't supply enough conditions to prove that I'm an anti-feminine geek). This leads to trouble and frustration at the same time and any inter conversion between them is fruitless as these two things survive in equilibrium with each other.

Conclusion :
The four Cycles prove the fact that frustration and trouble are interconvertable and one is the other form of the other. It is a hard fact that very few people can master the method of pulling themselves out of any of these cycles. The only way to escape from both of these ill-labled pathogens is to write something like this.... Man! I feel better.